Be You.

Photo caption:  The world needs who you were made to be.  

 

LYFT. Discrimination.

Last Thursday after a WE (Women Entrepreneur) meeting, I pulled out my phone and requested a ride from my LYFT ap.  I mentioned to one of the women how much I loved the possibilities with LYFT.  I was meeting a friend at City Creek and being able to just call for a ride was wonderful.  (I'm blind with a guide dog.)  I see the world with possibility and lemons that turn into lemonade so those times of access denials weren't on my mind yet.   

As I waited for the driver, that moment of angst ... will this driver deny me because I am waiting here with my guide dog, Georgie?  YES that happens far too frequently for me, my friends with guide dogs and many others with service animals.  Imagine requesting a LYFT ride -- certainly with a destination in mind/anticipated time needed to be there and  with that additional concern of will I get that ride?  Will this driver deny me?  

I've lost count of how many times I've been denied access.  MANY.  Each time after having a driver drive away, stop and refuse to open his door for me, walk out from my house - with my mom and have the driver tell us he won't take us because of my guide, ... I could go on and on of the experiences.  However, each time I call the Lyft phone number to issue a complaint and then request another ride. 

It comes at a cost in many ways for me:

1.  There is simply added concern - uncertainty as you wait for that ride.
2.  One must allow for extra time because if I need to be to an appointment at 9 then I need to give myself extra time incase they deny me.  Denial also entails advocating -- making the phone call to LYFT to issue a formal complaint.  
3.  This discrimination no matter how confident you are .. takes its toll on you emotionally for a moment, a day, longer depending on the situation.  
4.  And, in the end it is just not right.  I think who else has this happened to today.  What can I do about the situation?  How can I advocate?  

Last Thursday was a different situation.  I was picked up by the Lyft Driver fine.  Georgie, my guide dog, slid into the back seat and rode from Farmington to City Creek lying by my feet.  The driver and I visited briefly and then I returned some phone calls on the drive.  I got out and thanked him.  Two days later I receive an email from Lyft indicating an additional $100 had been assessed to my account because of damages to his car.  I was shocked as I thought back to our ride.  Georgie was quietly sitting by my feet the whole time.  Two pictures were sent -- one of his floor where yes there were a few hairs on the floor.  The picture of the seat was covered with scratches.  I am not sure how his seat was scratched ... I know it was not from my guide dog who was sitting on the floor for the whole ride. My husband looked at the pictures and indicated those scratches do not match up to Georgie at all - she would have been scrambling all over the seat.  She was sitting at my feet the whole ride.  This is how guide dogs are trained to behave.  

I've really appreciated Lyft and the freedom they have given me inspite of the challenging times with access denials.   However, this new scenario has some added concerns.  So, anytime a lyft driver wants to decide to charge me and declare my dog has done damages they can?!  Anytime, they want to deny me access they can?  

As I called the Lyft Customer Service to report ... "Miss Becky, I can tell you I'm almost 95% sure I can get this charge reversed.  We don't charge for damages service dogs do to cars.  We take this very seriously when our passengers with service animals are denied access.  REALLY????  I told him the evidence just doesn't seem to support that.  Consistently I hear from others with guide dogs who are denied.  Each time I call for a Lyft it crosses my mind briefly unless it becomes a reality then I have to take the appropriate action.  

I told him calmly :) -- lets make it clear my guide dog did not do any damages to his car.  Let's not change the story.  

I've heard mixed reports on what recourse there is and also that Lyft and Uber do not need to follow the ADA laws and that they know that.  I've observed they are talking the talk .. yet their actions don't demonstrate that they really are a place where I can confidently push that 'confirm ride' and know that I will be picked up free from discrimination.  

Disappointing to say the least. For now, I am taking a pause on my Lyft account while I sort through other options.  Thankful I do have many other options.  

Just as when I was told to leave a grocery store in 1998, I won't just sit and let this happen. 

What are your thoughts?  Insights on this topic?  Thanks for sharing ... 

Look up, move forward.  

PD:  Becky and Georgie (sitting at my feet) at City Creek.  Photo cred: Rick Egan - SL Tribune.

Retinitis Pigmentosa. Living an Active Life

When I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa there was an unknown of how could I be active.  Through the years, I have learned many different options and activities to living an active life with blindness.  I am SO grateful.  You might enjoy this video.

I love living an active life

Surrendering into Serenity

Surrendering into Serenity

This is what I am faced with right now in my life's journey. While I'd like it to be different, I must allow myself to face the reality of what is happening -- when you surrender you release attachment to how you feel your life should be and invite yourself to be in the presence of your life exactly as it is. While naturally difficult to do, surrender is an act of courage. Dr. Alan Wolfelt

Picture of the family - all Aggie gradutes now.  (And why did the photographer have Kendall be on top of sweet Pantera!?  Thankfully it was brief! 

 In the spring after my diagnosis actually around this time,  we travelled to UCLA for a consult with a specialist in Retinitis Pigmentosa.  In the gift shop at the UCLA Medical Center was a magnet with the Serenity Prayer.  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.  At the time, it didn't mean a lot.  I was engaged and even though I was sitting in a retina specialist's office, blindness seemed far into the future. The message of Surrender began to come much sooner than I anticipated.  After I turned in my driver's license as a young mom,  I felt a heaviness and a sense of being alone.  I recognized that although I had wonderful support, Retinitis Pigmentosa was mine.  I had the choice on how to respond. The last of all human freedoms, the power to choose one own's way given any set of circumstances.  Victor Frankle  To bounce back and have joy in my life, I would need to surrender to the changes/losses that were happening as my vision continued to decline.  I could learn new ways to complete my education.  I could learn new ways to travel independently.  I could learn new ways to manage my home.  I could learn new ways to enjoy the activities that I loved to do. Although the world was going dark for me physically, I could create so much light in my life.  

Such peace comes as we surrender to what is ... 

What has been your experience with surrendering?  

Courage

We all have moments etched in our minds: joyful ones and hard times that become opportunities :).   One of those days for me was a spring afternoon many, many  years ago.  I even remember what I was wearing on this day: khaki pants and a favorite lime green and orange blazer :).  Maybe it would be back in style now!? The time frame was: young wife and mom, working part-time at an elementary school,  still adjusting to loss of my driver's license, in the middle of cane training and my vision was declining. I had recently gone to the retina specialist where I learned I had a secondary complication in my eyes -- Macula Edema (swelling in the macula - which causes further damage to the vision).   I was taking a medication that was a diuretic and was making me very sick.  The previous day I had been in the hospital getting an IV.  They were trying to find the balance of using the drug to be effective with the swelling while not impacting my health in other ways.  On this day I was beginning to experience kidney stones and was exhausted and in pain. I was also feeling discouraged as I knew the doctor would probably need to take me off this medication that was reducing the swelling.  I recall walking up the stairs hoping to have a few minutes to lie down before the kids came home from school and had various after school activities that I wanted to attend.  This simple quote helped me recognize my courage in that day and allowed me to cut myself some slack as well :).    
  

Does a day of courage come to mind for you?  

Yielding in our Resilience

A previous post resharing:

Yielding in our Resilience

Now probably seven years ago, I was running up the steps on our side yard with Cricket, my guide dog at the time.  (She was on leash and not guiding.)  The sprinklers suddenly came on.  In an effort to get out of the way quickly, I became disoriented and ran full force into an electric box on the side of our house!  I hit so hard that it knocked me down and out.  I got up and after sitting there for a few minutes went into the house and told Steve about my latest adventure!  Other than my head felt a little sore, I felt fine so we didn't go into the hospital.  I actually ran the next morning.  I was training for a marathon.  After that I started feeling worse.  However, I went into work.  We were getting ready to go on a big vacation.  I felt I could push through the day.  As the day progressed I began to feel a little, perhaps my colleagues would say a lot, spacey. My colleagues intervened, called Steve, cancelled my appointments for the rest of the day and reminded me it was time to pull back and get to the hospital! I would learn I had a concussion.  I was told no running or anything else that wold raise my blood pressure and lots of rest.  In the days ahead,  I learned about fatigue like I had never  known.  It seemed even having a conversation was draining.  As much as I wanted to push through ... it was time to yield.

Lao Tzu said,  "Water is fluid, soft, and yielding.  But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield.  As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard.  This is another paradox.  What is soft is strong."

I love this quote.  One of the lessons learned from my blind resilient journey over and over is to be flexible in riding the ups and downs.  Finding that balance of  pushing with tenacity and grit and also the times we need to let go - surrender - yield.  It isn't easy to yield.  However, I have found so much joy in this process of letting go and yielding to what is.  An authentic journey is about finding that balance, listening to our hearts and bodies, and finding that adaptability to cope with those harsh realities of life.  

During this time of recovery, I had a friend who sent me the sweetest email basically acknowledging that sometimes blindness (could insert whatever challenge we are facing) is hard and to be compassionate to myself.  Her kindness and compassion helped give me the space to yield and heal.  

"When we ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand.  The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief.  Who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness.  That is the friend who cares." Henri Nourwen

I wouldn't advise anyone running into an electric box.  However, the last two years when I plant the flowers around this electric box, I reflect on the beauty and the lessons learned from this experience.  Even though I reassured Steve this won't happen again he placed padding around the electric box.  This is a reminder of his love and support.  

I returned from our trip and was able to resume training for the marathon.  As I sat out and couldn't run a good friend kept telling me ... your body will remember and catch up.  Indeed it did.  

Becky, Cricket (who passed away last year) and Georgie (current guide dog) by the electric box and flowers :).   Shady morning sorry not great picture. 

Can you think of a time that an electric box was turned into flowers? Perhaps a more common phrase is lemons turned into lemonade?  A time of pushing became yielding and lessons and beauty learned in the journey?  

Diagnosis Day. Power of Support in our Resilience.

Diagnosis Day. Power of Support in our Resilience.

I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa (a degenerative eye condition) on a December morning at the age of 18.  I was a freshman at Utah State University at the time feeling like my big challenge was which boy to date on a Friday night :).  After leaving the opthalmologist's office,  a 'good friend' (now my husband :), Steve was one of the first people I shared this new information.  We were at a dance that evening and I said ... I've got Retina something - Pigment or something like that.  I couldn't remember what it was called.  I just knew that my clumsiness, inability to see at night and no peripheral vision now made sense! I hadn't grasped yet that my vision would continue to deteriorate.  It would take a while for the diagnosis to set in.  That night I recognized the power of support and friendship in our challenging times.  He sincerely cared.   

I didn't know anything about navigating blindness and some of the challenging and amazing waters to come.  As I reflect on this day 35 + years later, the ability to reach out to others has blessed my life and helped immensely.  

Steve and I kayaking in beautiful Sausalito, we will soon to celebrate our 35th anniversary.

I selected the name of our business:  Resilient Solutions, Inc. because I love the concept of Resilience and am inspired each day by the stories of others' ability to bounce back from difficult situations.  Indeed: 

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.  CC Scott

We each have a story.   My resilience grew as I heard from others ... their examples, their strength inspired me.  I recall shortly after my diagnosis, my parents took me to California to meet with a therapist - she had Retinitis Pigmentosa.  She had a thriving practice, and I recognized that just maybe that could be me someday.  I am touched and appreciative of my parents' amazing support and  helping me see the value in reaching out to others. 

The power of support/connecting with others is indeed an attribute in our Resilience. Reflecting on the many, many incredible people who have been on my team.    

Supportive people give us the space to grieve and work through our emotions.  They know how to listen and when to offer just enough encouragement without trying to solve all of our problems with their advice.  Good supporters know how to just be with adversity -- calming us rather than frustrating us.  Brad Waters, LCSW

Sense of Humor in our Resilience

Sense of Humor in our Resilience

I remember the first time I could laugh about something funny about my blindness. Steve and I were at the video store - I had wandered off to another isle and then gone back to who I thought was him and was being a little flirty. Only problem was ... it wasn't him! Okay yikes! After I recovered from my embarrassment, found Steve and we got in the car we laughed about this embarrassing now funny experience. Below is one of those other funny embarrassing moments.  I had to think for a few moments to remember what the actual embarrassing experience was as the memory I hold dear is the three of us laughing hysterically.  Let's do it again, girls!  (I didn't realize it but I was bringing another man into the picture (not realizing it was a stranger :)).  Poor guy!

This is a great article on Sense of Humor Tips.  It starts with a smile!  I remember when I started using the cane and felt like people were looking at me.  I decided to simply smile back. This has become such a habit now for years ... I always greet someone with a smile.   I recognized that it felt great and also was helping my awkwardness be replaced with connecting with others.

I hope you have had a good laugh today - finding something a little funny in your Resilience Journey.

The Story we tell ourselves. Blind Runner.

So, a funny story from our recent family trip to Hawaii.  We started the mornings with a relaxing routine ... some family members ran, relaxed, slept in - before we met up for a Bonsai Acai or Smoothie - stop at Teds Bakery and then over to sit on a concrete pad by the beach and enjoy breakfast.  Loved these moments together as a family.  

I love a vacation with a combination of some relaxation and some planned adventures!  As a woman who is blind, I love some routine and familiarity, too.  The running trail had some bumps -- some rather large unexpected ones.  Steve and I chatted about what was our best communication plan after a bit of a twisted ankle.  321 big bump ... little bump - we chatted away.  I thought to myself, I love love how we problem solve and are creative!  Whether it is running along a trail in Hawaii or something else ... it works!  Find a way!  

So, this last beautiful morning, we had  gone out for a run.  After my knee surgery, I'm still getting back into running!  We did some stints of walking, too.  We ran past the crossing guard (picture below) and then turned around and were running back.  On our way back Steve high fives a lady -- with my peephole of fuzzy vision I could see she was in maybe a grey tank.  Here is the funny party -- in my mind I think Steve is really friendly to her - must have been a lady we passed on the way going the other direction and this lady must have been friendly too.  Cheering each other on in running is pretty common.  I love the camaraderie of runners.  He mentioned after we had run by -- she was in her zone.  It still didn't click until we were further past when he said Natalie was in in her zone.  What I said - that was Natalie (our daughter) we ran by!  Yes, she seemed to be running in her zone -- didn't want to disturb her too much so I just high fives her.  We get back to the Air BnB we were staying with and I said Natalie I'm sorry I wasn't more friendly - I didn't realize it was you!!!  She said -- yeah, I had started running and planned to run to you -- but I ran there and you guys weren't too friendly so I kept running.

We laughed.  So, my story in my head was Steve was really friendly with another runner that we didn't know; Steve's story was Natalie is focused in on her running and so I'll just give her a high five and not disturb her too much.  Natalie meanwhile was wondering why her parents ran past her with simply a high-five.  

Picture One:  Steve and Becky standing in front of the beach in Heleiwa on North Short of Oahu.  Becky is wearing a running vest that says - Blind Runner.

Picture Two:  Becky and the crossing guard.  Fun note:  as we were crossing to go on the hike:  Pillbox; I had my cane.  He asked me some questions about my vision.  Turns out he has a good friend with a sister who has Retinitis Pigmentosa.  Small world!  

Picture Three:  Becky and my daughter Natalie (who I ran past!) smiling with our helmets on at the Zipline.  What an amazing adventure!!  

Happy Sunday!  What story have you told yourself -- that may or may not be true :)?  

What adventure would you like to try?  

Becky Andrews, Relief society conference

What a special day to spend the morning with the YSA in Logan, Utah and then some lovely family time.

Retreats for Women who are blind or low vision

Why attend a retreat specifically for visually impaired women?At times when facing vision loss, many women may feel isolated because they often don't know anyone who shares their unique challenges. This retreat is an opportunity to connect and share stories with other women experiencing vision loss. You will also leave with empowering tools and new insight through experiential activities. This retreat is an experience to truly own and celebrate who you are and your story. 
 
Becky Andrews, LCMHC, who is blind from Retinitis Pigmentosa and Lisa Bradford, LCSW will lead you on an amazing journey of connection, learning, growth, adventure and laughter. 
 
What attendees said about the 2016/2017/2018 retreat: “I really treasured everything about this experience more than I ever imagined. I will definitely recommend this program!” – J
 
“I felt such a sense of renewal after the retreat. The facilitators were fantastic. Felt like you kept things safe and compassionate for everyone. Really appreciate all the details and
 planning.” –S

"I left empowered to show up in ways I hadn't believed I could. I now feel like I have a group of women - friends - who understand me that I can stay in touch with and will help me implement what I learned."
 
“Location was perfect, liked the variety too. It was awesome to walk about in two cities using my cane skills with visually impaired ladies. Made me feel like a warrior at times! The food was amazing!” – K
 
“I learned a lot from the curriculum. It helped me understand myself better. I can now talk about being in the arena of life and really living wholeheartedly.” –M

We are pleased to be offering one retreat in 2019:

July 11-14, 2019 in beautiful Park City, Utah at the National Ability Center Lodge. We will hike, participate in the ropes course, equestrian activities, tandem cycle and connect through various activities and discussions. Life-long friendships and tools to navigate your journey will be just part of the take away from this experience. You can visit their website at: www.discovernac.org

Retreat is $695 which is all inclusive from arrival at the SLC Airport on Thursday to returning back to the airport on Sunday. To join us, send a deposit of $250 to the Oasis Center for Hope, 1355 North Main, Ste. 1, Bountiful, Utah 84010. A conference call will be held on Wednesday, February 6th at 8 PST to answer any questions you might have. Contact Becky at becky.lpc@gmail.com if you'd like to join us (and to get the call in info).

Contact Becky Andrews, CMHC, at becky.lpc@gmail.com and follow on facebook at: Becky Andrews, Resilient Vision for more details on our Retreats.

Retreat is limited to 12 women.

Todd Sylvester Inspires - Episode with Becky Andrews

Where has the time gone!  So much has happened since I last updated this blog!  If you are on facebook - I'd love you to join me in the conversation at Becky Andrews, Resilient Vision.  If you are on instagram - follow me at becky__andrews.

I'm thrilled to share that on my website:  www.beckyandrews.info we now have the notecards and notebooks that we created in loving memory of my dad.  He was and I believe continues to cheer me on in life.  So grateful.

Tuesday I had the opportunity to visit with Todd Sylvester for his podcast.  What a remarkable man and so grateful for the experience.  If you have some time, subscribe and listen here:

Todd Sylvester Inspires - Episode with Becky Andrews

In love and gratitude,

Becky and Georgie Girl

Blind Women Retreat - Daring to Own Your Story TM -- September 20-23, 2018, Park City Utah

DARING TO OWN YOUR STORY™ RETREATS

WHY ATTEND A RETREAT SPECIFICALLY FOR WOMEN WHO ARE BLIND OR EXPERIENCING VISION LOSS?

• Thoughtful, research-based processes will lead us through identifying where we want to show up in our life and what is holding us back.  Time each day will spent on exploring courage, vulnerability, shame, and worthiness as well as mindfulness, self-compassion.  
• Activities.  We will be hiking, challenging ourselves in a ropes course, horseback riding, biking, and plenty of time to enjoy the beauty in Park City  at the beautiful National Ability Center.
• Support. Share struggles and changes in your life with the group without judgment. Build friendship and extend support to other women along this emotional, mental, and even physical journey.
• Professional facilitators. Becky Andrews, LCMHC, who is blind from Retinitis Pigmentosa, Lisa Bradford, LCSW are engaging and experienced therapists who will lead you through tough discussions and activities with compassion.  You can find more information about them at:  www.resilientsolutionsinc.com.  We are thrilled to have Jenelle Landgraf, MSW student and co-author of doublevisionblog.com, who also has Retinitis Pigmentosa joining us as one of our facilitators.  She will also be leading us in yoga each morning.
• Quality amenities at the National Ability Center. Delicious food, comfortable lodging, and reliable transportation are part of the program.  You can learn more at www.nac.com
• Life-changing experiences. The time spent at the retreat creates a lasting impact that will stay with you as you move forward in your life with family, friends, work and community.

"When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending." ~Brené Brown

 **CONTACT BECKY ANDREWS,  BECKY.LPC@GMAIL.COM FOR DETAILS ABOUT OUR 2018 RETREAT (**SPACE IS LIMITED) OR TO DISCUSS HOSTING A RETREAT IN YOUR AREA

2018 Retreat will be September 20-23, 2018 at the National Ability Center in Park City, Utah.  The cost for the retreat is $595 (sharing a room) and $695 (single) and includes activities listed above, lodging, and food and transportation to and from the SLC Airport!

Open up to the stories we tell ourselves and gain an empowered outlook with the connections and activities at the National Ability Center.  Connect with other men and women living with blindness without judgment. Discover valuable tools to deal with loss and uncertainty, and develop shame resistance. Choose authenticity and write the ending to your story.

Dynamic program includes three nights lodging, all meals, & amazing activities including ropes course, hiking, cycling,  yoga, time for reflection, and processing with experienced therapists.  This life-changing retreat will be held in Park City, Utah. September 20-23, 2018.

WHAT PARTICIPANTS OF THE 2016/2017 RETREATS ARE SAYING:

“I really treasured everything about this experience more than I ever imagined. I will definitely recommend this program!” – J

“I felt such a sense of renewal after the retreat.  The facilitators were fantastic.  Felt like you kept things safe and compassionate for everyone.  Really appreciate all the details and planning.”  –S

"I continually feel like I dare show up in my life after coming to the retreat.  When I am scared I have a tribe to turn to for support.  Shame is not in the driver's seat any more in my life."  -- Ann

“Location was perfect, liked the variety too.  It was awesome to walk about in two cities using my cane skills with visually impaired ladies.  Made me feel like a warrior at times! The food was amazing!” – K

"Not only was the program excellent.  I learned so many practical tips and tools from the other attendees.  Forever grateful." -- K

“I learned a lot from the curriculum.  It helped me understand myself better.  I can now talk about being in the arena of life and really living wholeheartedly.” –M

Special Friendship. Blind Runner & Guide. Three weeks til Boston Marathon

Just a little over three weeks til Alanna and I run the Boston Marathon!!  So excited to be running with Team with a Vision.  We got this!!

What a journey.  After a fall in January my right ankle, knee and thigh have had their challenges.  Cross training on the ellyptical and bike have helped along the way.  An amazing coach has helped individualize my plan with these injuries. 

We will be ready and I am looking forward to savoring the miles in this journey.  There will probably be some tears shed as we walk to the starting point and definitely tears of joy as we cross the finish line.  In the middle most likely some highs and lows.  I love to hear the pounding of everyone's feet on the pavement ... almost insynch with the same goal to get to that finish line.  So many stories of how they got there ... the hard work and sacrifice that brought them to that starting point.

#bostonbound #boston2018 #grateful #blindrunner #amazing guide #tethered #lookupmoveforward

Finding the humor ...

Yesterday I enjoyed lunch with a colleague and then we shopped around for a bit.  She left and I was going to do a little more shopping before calling a Lyft to go home.  Searching for a warm snuggly sweater!  I walked into Old Navy and Georgie, my guide dog, gracefully navigated around (what I thought was a person!).  As she was navigating between the aisles I felt myself slightly bump tino what I thought was a person.  I turned to the direction of what I  and said so apologetically, Oh I am so so sorry.  Silence ... I walked a few steps away and realized that it was not a person that I had bumped into .. it was a padded beam :).  I giggled at the funny moments sometimes blindness brings and how emphatically I had apologized :). 

 

Look up, move forward on Audible now!

Hi Friends,
Hope you are having a wonderful holiday season. 

Exciting news ... our book:  Look up, move forward is now on Audible!!

If you enjoy listening to books and are not an Audible Subscriber -- you can go get a FREE 30 day trial and listen to my book.

If you are on audible and would like a free credit to listen to it ... leave a comment and if there are credit still remaining I will give you a code to use!

Thanks for your support ... look forward to what is ahead in 2018,

Love,  Becky

Fun side note for fourth printing .. we changed the subtitle to Losing my eyesight and finding my vision! 

Wonder

Loved reading this book and can't wait for the movie! I had the opportunity to share some perspective in the following article.  You can read the article that my friend and gifted writer wrote about here:

Wonder Movie by Joy Thomas

Joy begins her article ,...

“I won’t describe what I look like. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably much worse,” says 10-year-old August Pullman, the protagonist in the New York Times best-selling middle grade novel Wonder by R.J. Palacio. Auggie, the main character born with a severe facial deformity, tells his story, and then the perspective shifts to his classmates, sister and sister’s boyfriend. Exploring themes of belonging, empathy, differences, kindness and resilience, Wonder is spreading empathy like wildfire and will debut as the adapted Wondermovie on November 17.

#choosekindness
#kinderthanisnecessary

Thriving @ OHSU Casey Eye Institute

Casey Eye Institute offered a wonderful conference:  2017 Macular Degeneration and Vision Expo.  It was a privilege to be their keynote speaker at this event.  Thriving in the Journey:  Embracing Life one step at a time.  Afterwards there was a book signing of our book:  Look up, move forward.

Recently I had the amazing experience while in Israel to ride a camel.  I've thought a lot about this bucket list experience.  I incorporated this experience into this presentation.  Think of the traits that a camel has that helps him be resilient ... long eyelashes that help shield from the bright sun; amazing feet that help him walk in the sand ... the list goes on. ... We also have inside of us what we need to thrive and bounce back from our challenging experiences.

A client told me recently ... I just need to be resilient.  I reminded her that resilience is a journey with each challenge we are faced and one of the important steps is to honor our feelings ... to articulate and process our feelings in ways that we feel supported ... write, talk, draw, exercise, process our feelings.  Let it take the time it needs.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor and some style -- Maya Angelou.

Dedicated to my friend and fellow RPer, Kay

PD:  Jacque, Kay and myself in Arizona for one of our girls trips to visit Jacque and get some sunshine and connection.  

Last night I received a phone call.  It was from Kay.  We have been friends since our late 20's/early 30's.  We connected because we were both losing our eyesight from an eye condition called Retinitis Pigmentosa.  We were both serving as leaders in our state RP Foundation Chapters as well as Jacque.  We were all involved in leadership training, building our chapters and became good friends.  Kay and I both are Clinical Mental Health Counselors.  She was the one who paved the way for me to become an EMDR Therapist as well.  Time would go by and we seemed to just pick up where we left off. 

A few years back we planned a girls trip to Arizona to visit Jacque and enjoy some sunshine.  It was wonderful to connect with these lovely ladies.  Sitting outside by her pool soaking in the sunshine and sharing our journeys of vision loss and the new discoveries in tools that were helpful.  Last year we couldn't meet up yet the plan was to resume this year.  

Whether it was going to get pedicures, visiting Jerome, enjoying the Chihuly's at the Park and each of us sharing what we could 'see', we had fun and shared love and support for one another.  

So, when she left a message last night it felt different.  Yes, it was the time of year to reconnect and talk about planning our upcoming trip for sunshine.  Yet, there was simply the message of Becky we need to talk.  She had been trying to reach me for a few weeks.  We've been travelling -- in Jordan/Israel for two weeks then back home and to Portland.  Its been a busy month so understandably I've been hard to reach.  

I quickly called her back.  She told me she was dying and on Hospice.  I was speechless as I reflected on this most likely being my last conversation with her.  I thought of getting on a plane to visit .. yet knew that probably wasn't even an option at this point.  We talked for 10 minutes until it was too difficult for her to talk anymore.  I was so grateful that she had made the effort to connect so we could have this last conversation.   I love you so much, Kay  Thank you for being an amazing example and friend.  We've shared so much together.  I love that you felt I would look great in a hat and insisted on buying me one.  I tried :).    

My heart is full of gratitude and love for you Kay.  I will miss you and am so grateful for the example you set of tenacity, love, forever friend, optimism and spiritual strength.  

I am going to miss no more chats about therapy tools, how we navigate the DSM-5, sitting by the pool chatting about neuroplasticity and mostly your friendship and love.  As you said last night, that's not going anywhere.  Your love, friendship and example will be in my heart forever.  

Love and prayers to you in this final stage of a beautiful life.  

Update:  Kay died the next day.  I am so grateful she called and we had the opportunity to visit.  Love you Kay.  

Reflections ...

Reflecting this morning and simply grateful for the many possibilities, opportunities, experiences, wonderful people that are in my life.   

I  finalize preparations for nine women, who are all blind, to come to a retreat:  Daring to Own Your Story (www.oasiscenterforhope.com for details) in our home tonight.  They are travelling here from across the country.  This is our fourth retreat and I am so very grateful for these women that have been so brave to show up and truly Dare to Own Their Story.  

I have marked my calendar for September 11th -- the day I can sign up for the Boston Marathon.  So excited to qualify again and run with my friend/guide Alanna.  It will be an amazing experience.    

Grateful for the opportunity to keep growing, stretching and climbing higher than I thought I could.  This picture is the 35-foot climbing wall at the National Abilty Center.  I am the one climbing and already on the ledge are 9 women from our last retreat -- all blind giving me the courage to do it!!

Courage is contagious.  Love this message.  Grateful for all who set the example of showing up and being brave.  

And sometimes life is hard.  I had a shot in my eye last month and another one to come on Tuesday.  As I reflect on this day, yes it was painful - oh so painful for the day ...  yet what was beautiful about the day was ... Steve and Natalie, our daughter, was in town and cheering me on -- didn't realize til after she had taken a picture of the moment!  It was Natalie's last day in Utah so we also drove up to Park City to try a fun new restaurant (I rode up in the back seat lying on the seat nauseous) and then such a wonderful evening together with our son, too.  As I reflect on this day .. the joy and beauty of the day are much much bigger than the pain.     

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive, and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style -- Maya Angelou.

What makes you thrive?  Would love to hear from you ... 

follow me on Instagram @becky__andrews, facebook:  becky peterson andrews and my new website which gives updates on speaking, retreats, classes, book events is:  www.beckyandrews.info

I'm also thrilled that my book is now available in Large Print.  It is available in Audio through the Library for the Blind and Bookshare.  Regular Print in Amazon and some local bookstores and kindle and nook.